The New York Times has a disturbing story about the invisible older generation of immigrants. “They never win spelling bees,” “They do not join criminal gangs. And nobody worries about Americans losing jobs to Korean grandmothers.”
"Many are aging parents of naturalized American citizens, reuniting with their families. Yet experts say that America’s ethnic elderly are among the most isolated people in America. Seventy percent of recent older immigrants speak little or no English. Most do not drive. Some studies suggest depression and psychological problems are widespread, the result of language barriers, a lack of social connections and values that sometimes conflict with the dominant American culture, including those of their assimilated children."
Starting in the 60s, family reunification became a major driver in our immigration. Previous generation of immigrants came alone, were younger, could handle the rough path of assimilation into the country a lot better, and paid their way for the social services they qualified for. And they accepted the fact that they were leaving their extended families behind. It is a deliberate choice they made.
Cold as it sounds, I think we need to go back to de-emphasizing love (or lottery) as a driver in our immigration. Immigration is a competitive tool, and we should be using it to attract the best labor for our country's needs - with the realization that it is a constrained number, and increasingly unpopular.
As for my immigrant friends, think long and hard about reuniting your elderly parents here. They deserve better than to be cheap babysitters here. With the comforts of Skype and cheap international travel you can have the best of both worlds - let them live where they are most comfortable, and yet you stay in close touch with them than previous generation of immigrants ever could.
And save the limited immigration slots for fellow, deserving, talent based immigrants.