While we are on the issue of software SG&A being too expensive, I thought I would share this joke I received - inspired by Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men
Salesperson:
"You want answers?"
Accountant:
"I think we are entitled to them!"
Salesperson:
"You want answers?!"
Accountant:
"I want the truth!"
Salesperson:
"You can't handle the truth!!!"
Salesperson
(continuing): "Son, we live in a world that requires revenue. And that
revenue must be brought in by people with elite skills. Who's going to find it?
You? You, Mr. CPA? We have a greater responsibility than you can't possibly
fathom.
You
scoff at Sales and curse our lucrative incentives. You have that
luxury. You also have the luxury of not knowing what we know: that while the
cost of selling is excessive, it drives in revenue. Revenue you find all kinds
of excuses to try and defer. And my very existence, while grotesque and
incomprehensible to you, drives REVENUE! You don't want to know the truth
because deep down in places you don't talk about in board meetings... you want
me on that call. You NEED me on that call!
We
use words like psychological ROI, value matrix, VITO – learned from a life
spent negotiating opportunities (yes against that Deal Archtiect assXXXX). You learned ROI in Accounting 101! The sweat of our labor generates our vaporware. We make quota even without SuperBowl ads.
I
have neither the time nor inclination to explain myself to people who rise and
sleep under the very blanket of revenue I provide and then question the manner
in which I provide it. Don’t forget A comes way after S in SG&A. And the S in
Sarbanes-Oxley did not change a darn thing.
I
would rather you just said "thank you" and went on your way.
Otherwise I suggest you pick up a phone and make some cold calls. Either way, I
don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to!"
Accountant:
"Did you expense the private jet?"
Salesperson:
"I did the job I was hired to do."
Accountant:
"Did you expense the private jet?"
Salesperson:
"You're damn right I did!
Update: this post is finding its way through sales forces around the world. I just got an email from a UK Sales Director "...it is printed out and will go on our team board". He then gushed something I cannot print on this blog. Accountants of the world - brace yourselves for the Nicholson speech next time you question sales expenses. Look on the bright side - would you rather them use Jack's "Here's Johnny..." line?
SOAr
In my post SOA = SOS I summarized several concerns about enterprise SOA. This week John Hagel, Jeff Nolan, Joe McKendrick add their perspectives. And Joe asks "What's the alternative?"
For SOA to soar like an eagle, not waddle like a turkey I think there are 5 changes needed:
- SOA sponsors need to find a Line of Business executive with a specific project where they can use the technology/concept. Then another, then another. If there are not enough volunteers give up - at least for a couple of years. It is the classic solution looking for a problem.
- Think constraints. Project team of no more than 3. Project time no more than 3 months. Total burdened cost less than $ 100K. And that's for the pilot. Even less for on-going ones. You are competing with web 2.0 team sizes and budgets.
- If you are a tools vendor, package everything in to one "wrapper". Do not show customers your sausage factory of 10-15-20 products
- If you are an application vendor, for every time you mention SOA plans, make sure you have 5 mentions of application functionality improvements.
- Everyone - it's about web services, not people services. Send the consultants home.
For those who call me a SOA cynic, they forget. I love architectures. Check out my blog name. Just talk to me in dollars and cents not acronyms like WSDL and UDDI. Give those - and the hype about SOA - a REST.
Update: Phil Wainewright says SOA may have hit rock bottom and should re-emerge with more realistic expectations.
April 27, 2006 in Industry Commentary | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBack (0)