"Just arrived in your neighborhood, sir. Blazing fast". "What do you use for internet access?" Verizon. Puzzled look. "For high-speed". Yes, Verizon DSL. "Oh, really?" "Anyways, you qualify for a free upgrade". Where do I sign? "Let me check with my colleague". Guy disappears.
Novel, old fashioned way to sell its high-tech product. Actually, its high-tech marketing also calls it blazing fast, and its engineers appear to deliver blazes - leading to the wise crack, FiOS stands for Fire is Our Specialty:)
Anyways, Verizon if you want to upgrade my DSL - and also move my cable TV service to you, you know where to reach me. Just don't expect me to go through this process again.